An Alpha Woman is a resilient, often intimidating and imposing female, who is determined to obtain and achieve anything she sets her sights on. Her career is skyrocketing, and she surrounds herself with dependable friends. She is brimming over with ambition and self-confidence, and when the need calls for it, she does not hesitate to assert her needs of others. She has neither the time nor the patience to deal with nonsense.

So does this characterize the woman currently in your life, or someone you hope to win over? Well, when it comes to men, an Alpha Woman is drawn to someone who is her equal and her number one supporter. Are you this man?

As her ideal man, you will not only help her grow and reach her greatest potential, but you will keep her grounded and content. You are part charismatic and part grounded in reality. Her success does not intimidate you, yet you will not permit her to trample you under foot. You are able to be her rock whilst being true to the relationship. You are her best friend and confidant, while also being an ally and dependable partner.

In particular, the Alpha Woman looks for these essential qualities:

You challenge her

An Alpha Woman is confident enough in herself not to feel criticized or disrespected if you should challenge her opinions and decisions. In fact, she embraces challenge from you because she always strives to reach the highest standard of herself. She welcomes the opportunity to be pushed towards higher levels of excellence, and this may involve being guided to review her opinions and decisions, and potentially modify them.

You endeavour to boost her along her path 

You will be her strongest supporter, even though you let her take the lead. This is because you are strong, independent, and have a high level of self-confidence. You will support her under almost every circumstance because she is a person you are proud to be with.

You do not put her down nor place her on a pedestal

You know how to walk the fine line between making her feel belittled and elevated. You will not allow her to treat you like a doormat, yet you grant her the space to be the lioness that she is. You will spoil her from time to time with a unique present, but will never give her everything she wants. This is because you are her equal partner, not her provider. You will keep her guessing, but you know you are there because you choose to be, not because you need her.

You will be upfront when needed, but you know when to leave an issue alone

If she is behaving in a way that you are unhappy about, you will communicate your sentiments directly, and not tiptoe around the issue. You will tell her how it is and not be afraid that her feelings will get hurt. You will stand your ground when you know you are right, and you may argue with her, but you also know when to let it go. You are able to decide which issues are worth fighting about, and which ones to leave alone. She will not intimidate you, and you will not put up with nonsense. But remember, you always speak your mind in a respectful manner because you care for her - and yourself.  

You are able to apologize and are genuine about it

When you are wrong, you own up to it without being arrogant or defensive. An admission of guilt is followed by an apology without trying to make her believe that she has done anything wrong. When you admit your guilt, you will be aware of her feelings and not make her feel inadequate because of her feelings.

You listen with care, but also need to be heard

The art of speaking is a skill you have mastered. You know when to speak, and when to be silent. While you will patiently and intently hear what she has to say, you also expect to be heard by her.

You aren’t threatened by other men

A relationship with an Alpha Woman has a foundation that is built on trust. So you are secure in yourself and never need to query her. Your confidence allows her to move freely in social circles, between cocktail parties and business gatherings where she has developed an intimate business relationship with her “work husband”. She is a natural social butterfly, and you are not intimidated by her dynamic personality. Mild flirtations are not even annoyances to you.

You have independent interests and plans  

Though you are in a relationship with her, you have some separate interests, and you respect hers. When she gets together with girlfriends for a night out, you will never make an issue of it because you are confident enough to know who she is returning home to. In fact, you will encourage her to find time for herself and others who are important to her.

You respect her privacy  

Personal moments and discussions remain between you and her. There is a freedom wherein you can comfortably confide anything in each other. Embarrassing stories that could make her uncomfortable around family or friends are kept under wraps, so there will be nothing that comes back to her down the road. She also knows everything that is going on with you exclusively.

You accept her moods and deal with them effectively

You know how to be there for her when she is overwhelmed, exhausted, anxious, emotional, or anything in-between. You are a comfort to her because she feels at ease with you in any circumstance. Somehow you know exactly what she needs at the right moment, and you handle the situation with an amazing amount of grace. You can give her space, or hold her in your arms, depending on the need and the situation.

You are equally ambitious and you progress towards your goals at a similar rate

You are as focused on your career and personal goals as she is, and together you progress forward in tandem. As a power couple, you each take pleasure and pride in sitting back and watching one another grow and succeed. You each also respect the other’s goals without pushing too hard or dragging the other person down. Together, you both look towards the future in a positive perspective.  

You offer your advice and insights, but do not lecture her

There is something you can each learn from the other. You are passionate about teaching her what you know, but you always do it in a way that does not make her feel pushed or judged. Your ability to provide her with new insights help make both of you to become better people as you exchange views and opinions with one another.

You are good at making her laugh

The two of you are sarcastic and can make each other laugh, and she doesn’t become tired of you. Laughter is high on the list of characteristics you value in each other. These mirror qualities make you a perfect complement for her needs.

You can appropriately tease and be teased

You are someone who will never say anything that will hurt her feelings, yet you can give and take a joke. You and she both understand the boundaries of teasing, and never cross the line. Yet because sarcasm is understood and even appreciated by each of you, neither person ever feels threatened or offended.

Your opinions are well thought out and are often backed by evidence  

Your opinions are formed on the basis of accumulating knowledge through reading and keeping up with current events. Educated and well-rounded, you are a man who is stable in your understanding of worldly matters. This is a quality that is essential to you.  

Keep your relationship thriving

In conclusion, if the Alpha Woman in your life means everything to you, then being able to adhere to these general advice tips will certainly help you.

If in turn, you want to mean the world to her, click here to read my article about the most meaningful acts you can carry out in a relationship that will keep it thriving, and which will have her never wanting to let you go. 


I would love to hear your comments or answer any questions you might have about this post.

Yours sincerely,   


Dr. Carissa Coulston, Clinical Psychologist

BSc(Hons), MPsychol(Clinical), PhD, MAPS