Very occasionally, when you least expect it, and usually when it's least convenient, you will meet a special woman who turns out to be the lady of your dreams. When you finally meet her, nothing will ever be the same again.

No matter how times change and how society develops, the fundamentals of partnership never change - we are driven by nature itself to seek the other half of ourselves so that we can forge two individuals together to make a complete whole. Discovering the other half of yourself is never easy, and can just be plain hard work, so when you finally find that special someone who ticks all the right boxes, make sure you cling onto her tightly and never let go.

Ask those who have made the mistake of letting their ideal soul mate go, and they will tell you that it is something they continually regret. This article reveals the 12 qualities that your perfect other half will possess. If you recognize any of these in the one you love, then it is time to make a true commitment to her.  

1. She's clever

And not only is she clever, she's just as clever, or even more clever than you. A man may think he's the best, but when a truly smart woman comes into his life, he needs to up his game to compete. To achieve true greatness in life, every man needs the benefit of an even greater woman who can nurture in him the determination and drive to do well.

2. You think she's beautiful

This doesn't necessarily mean that she is traditionally beautiful, but in your eyes, she couldn't be more attractive. We all look at models and admire what we see, but when it comes to real life, there is a lot more to true beauty than the perfect body and a gorgeous face. We are always being told by the media what we should consider physical perfection to be, but inside, we all have our own personal preferences. Whatever qualities your lady has that reveals her true beauty, as long as you appreciate them, then your relationship is worth holding on to.

3. She's a good person with nurturing instincts

Being a good person is essential to the ongoing health of a relationship. If a person is essentially cruel and unkind in themselves, it is impossible to go on loving them in the long term. Kindness in your partner is a good sign that you should keep her in your life. Another important factor is her nurturing instinct. If you are hoping for children one day, you should keep in mind whether your partner shows any signs of maternal instincts that will enable her to be a good mother in the future.

4. She's lively

While the love of your life may not be here purely for your entertainment, it helps if your partner is hungry for excitement and is full of energy. This does not mean that she has to be an extravert, but as far as the two of you are concerned, she couldn’t be more enthusiastic about her life with you.  

5. She is in love with you

There are essential differences between the ways men and women love. When a woman falls in love with you, her whole soul is committed to you, and she will show complete devotion to the object of her affection. If you are lucky enough to be that object, hold onto that woman with both hands. However, if you are unsure about whether she is truly into you, click here to read another article of mine which will help you work out if her intentions of being together are the same as yours.  

6. She can compromise

Can your partner give as well as take? Compromise is the key to any successful partnership, and if she is prepared to find a way to meet you in the middle over tricky issues, the battle is half won. The other half relies on you being prepared to do the same.

7. She's your soul mate

When you truly love someone, you can look into their eyes and see your own self reflected back. When it feels right, you have a sense that the two of you are halves of the same whole that has been joined together in unity and strength. When you find your twinned soul, ensure that the bond stays strong forever.

8. She'll keep you on the right track

Sometimes we all need to hear that we are wrong. It's never nice to be told that you've made a mistake, but the perfect partner will not only be unafraid to point out your errors and show you where you went wrong, but she will do so with respect and humility, so that you never feel like you are being put down; and her intentions of relaying these views to you are for your own betterment, rather than a way for her to get back at you about something. Find the woman who can do this, and it can change your life. For the better.

9. She has a mature and independent womanly strength

Femininity and strength are not necessarily at odds. In fact, they often work together to make the perfect combination. Every man needs a woman who has strength of spirit and pride in her identity as a woman; and as such, she is mature and independent. All too often, men find themselves caught up with a woman who initially appears to have it all together on the surface, but as he spends more and more time with her, he becomes concerned that she has not yet grown up. If this is an issue for you, you can read more about it here in another article of mine which covers the distinguishing characteristics of an emotionally mature vs immature woman. If you are in a relationship with the former, she is definitely a keeper.    

10. She is full of passion

Every passionate soul needs a passionate partner. When you have reciprocal passion in your life with her, your life becomes infinitely more valuable.

11. She has drive and purpose

Whatever her goal in life, she is driven and ambitious to achieve it. Those who amble along without purpose or defined goals are never a good choice as a partner. Some men may think that a hard-nosed business woman is not for them, and that's fine, we all have different tastes. But drive is not always about career and job prospects. Even a woman whose greatest desire in life is to be a homemaker, can still be ambitious if she takes pride in being the very best she can be in all she does.

12. You love her more than life

Perhaps the most important thing of all is how you feel about her. Love can be the most incomprehensible thing and sometimes, even though we can't explain it, all we know is that we love that special someone more than life itself. There is nothing you wouldn't do to keep her by your side forever. If that sounds like the way you feel about your partner, you should listen to your heart. Accept your feelings and realize that when someone is that important to you, it must be right.

How to keep her

Now that you have found your perfect match, you should do everything in your power to keep her. In terms of simple tips, never hesitate to spoil her with a romantic gift every now and then, and certainly never forget important occasions such as her birthday or your anniversary. In the longer-term, good interpersonal skills are essential to sustain the relationship well into the future. In this respect, you can read my article here to learn more about how you can work to make her yours forever, and make it impossible for her to ever let you go. 

I would love to hear your comments or answer any questions you might have about this post.

Yours sincerely,   


Dr. Carissa Coulston, Clinical Psychologist

BSc(Hons), MPsychol(Clinical), PhD, MAPS